Posted by Anonymous on 2015/07/13 under Uncategorized Hello, I’m a 16 year old Washingtonian. That’s not really important but I guess I’m just really bad with introductions. Today I was going through the ancient piles of documents in my closet that have built up over the years and I guess I kinda found out a few things I never really knew. To clarify what I have already known, both of my parents divorced when I was 4 years old and I live w/ my mother. I don’t see my father or have any contact with him for legal reasons. My mother has a history of mental problems from her past and has been diagnosed with PTSD and depression. I already knew she faced domestic abuse from my father, she used to preach about his demonic abuse towards her.I completely understood why she hated him but I never really knew him at all. She hasn’t been treated or received counseling since it is no longer required by court in the past 6 years. Over the past 6 years My moms mental state has diminished and now she has full blown PPD (Paranoid Personality Disorder). I’ve always had a fear I would end up like her and as much as I admire her for her strength I don’t want to end up in her position (dependent on her child and alone). Last year she tried to kill herself, it was really sudden to most of my family, but not me. I saw it coming from miles away. The document I found stated that my own dad was suicidal and placed into a clinic right when he was around my mom’s age (there 10 years apart). I never really knew much at all about him and the first thing that I find out is that he’s just as suicidal as my mom. I just don’t want this to be my future. Knowing one parent was suicidal wasn’t all too scary but both is kind of daunting. I don’t like talking about being sad because then somehow I’ll convince myself I’m just like my parents and honestly I just want to make it to 21.